Love Song for No One- 4

Kiaan got up and stormed out of the room leaving crying Ira behind him. While he was going out of the room, he collided with a stranger, someone he had never seen before. Stranger had bold blue eyes and all he did was he kept on staring towards him. It kind of felt uncomfortable with that so he stormed out hurriedly.

Zev had only heard of Kiaan and now after seeing he in person made him feel guilty. On one hand he practically ran out of the house and on the other hand Ira was laying there crying her eyes out. He was confused so he left, but he knew he had done wrong and he knew whatever he may do is not going to be enough. He just wanted to prevent any other collateral damage.

It had been a few days since that happened but Ira was still not able to take it properly. This had been a subject of concern for her parents as they just could not see their daughter in this condition. On the other hand, Ira had it much worse. She had been crying the whole time partially because of the fact that she cheated on the man who loved her and the rest on the fact that the man she loved wasn’t there with her when she needed him the most. It had been days, she didn’t know how many, but Zev hadn’t called.

Her mother took her to shopping that evening just to prevent further sulking and thinking that she might feel good surrounded by people. While she and her mother were passing through the market, they came across the bakery. Ira hadn’t been there in a while so her mother thought it would be a good idea for them to go inside and meet all of them. Ira had no will of going into the place where it all started, where she met Zev for the first time, they way she felt when she looked into his eyes. Just at that moment, without any particular reason she began to cry, not hysterically but she had water in her eyes which was quite noticeable even after her failed attempts at wiping it off.

While she was watching the table where Zev sat for the first time with all of his friends, she noticed something going on two tables back from where she was standing. A guy and a girl were sitting there, kissing each other and while one hand of the guy was in the hair of the girl, the other was slowly moving near her waist. Ira felt quite disgusted by it, mainly because Zev was the only guy she knew who could do this kind of thing.

They say an idea is one of the most harmful things in the world as if planted properly; a simple idea can destroy countries. This was just what happened to Ira at that time, she kept praying to god that he shouldn’t be Zev or otherwise she’ll kill herself. She slowly moved towards the table where they were sitting, careful not to make any sound. She was almost dangerously closed when the couple stopped to take a breath and that was when Ira’s deepest fears came alive. It was Zev.

Ira felt an overwhelming wave of emotions that she couldn’t control. She was confused in either to go and slap him across the face or start crying and run. She felt the water in her eyes slowly starting to slip down and when it reached its end, another droplet started its journey. She just stood there, frozen as if she wasn’t alive at that moment. She wanted to move, but just couldn’t. Just then Zev’s face slowly turned around towards where she was standing and what was worse that Zev’s face showed no sign of guilt. She looked normal as if Ira had just been another one of her passing the time kind of girls. She slowly felt as if some power was working between her and Zev that was making her walk towards him. She suddenly stopped near the table and expected Zev to say something but he just kept staring at her expecting her to say something.

“What????!!!!!” he simple said trying to sound surprised.

“Who is she??” she just asked with her voice trembling.

“Oh her!! Well her name is ‘who-the-hell-cares-when-I-am-getting-some-action” he said trying to sound calm and yet a little excited.

“But how could you do this to me??”

“You? NO!! I was doing everything to her, you just came”

“But… but…. I… I love you.” She said trying hard not to break down.

“Oh well, thanks for that” he said with his signature grin.

“Thanks?? That’s all you have to say??”

“Well, I don’t love you so I am not going to say it back. My mother always taught me to be polite, so I said thank you. Now go away, run… you are wasting my time. Every second she is becoming more sober”

“But I love you…. Doesn’t that count for something??”

“Does it look like it counts??”

“You are a jerk. You used me!! And what about all those things that you told me, all the things who said you never told anyone??“She said with her anger overtaking her over emotional ride.

“I used you?? Now c’mon. How is any different to what you done to that Kiaan guy?? He loved you, right?? But you still “fell deeply, hopelessly and madly in love” with me.” He said making actual air quotation marks in the air. “And about the things I said, are you seriously too stupid to understand that I say that to every girl I meet. I probably said all that crap to this chick sitting here too, only if she was sober enough to listen to them.”

Ira couldn’t say a word. Zev was right. It wasn’t any different from what she did to Kiaan, after all he loved her with everything he had but she still fell in love with someone else, someone she knew for a few days. It was somehow becoming a story straight out of a film. She felt weak in her knees; slowly she started to fall but finally managed to maintain her balance. Seeing this staff came to her rescue but she felt as if someone was chocking her while piercing her heart a million times with many needles. She had to run. She couldn’t bear it any longer. With her wobbly legs, she made a run for it. She stormed out of the bakery.

Zev was left sitting there, thinking. For the first time in his life he felt something for a woman other than his mother, who actually died when he was young. He felt his heart beating so fast that it might come out at any second. But he knew deep down inside that he had done the right thing. It wouldn’t have been fair to Kiaan if he and Ira ended up together, even if they both loved each other. He felt the pain he hadn’t felt ever in his life, the pain of heartbreak. He wasn’t quite sure if it was ever going to be ok, but he knew he had to live his live, eat, sleep, drink till one day it doesn’t pain so much.

“What happened here??” The girl sitting with him somehow murmured; too drunk to actually see what ever that happened.

“Please… just... Just stop talking” he said as he picked up his glass of scotch and slowly started to slip it.

Love Song for No One-3

From that moment, Zev started talking about how his mother died when he was just four, how he saw his dad with number of girls then on but he had none, how his dad was dedicated to his business than to his only son and so on.

“…living without a mother was not enough, my father sent me to boarding school abroad where even though I had a lot of money, I didn’t know anyone. A little child is easily taken with the bad things and I was no exception. I started drinking at a very young age and drugs were not very far away. Since then I put my mind in booze and women only, not because it was the right thing to do, but because it was easier that way. I could just turn off my pain whenever I was too drunk to walk. I was never satisfied with women because I always wanted someone who was more than just a doll, who would listen to me, feel for me. Some did try to feel for me, to discover what hidden beneath the surface was present, but I really never wanted them too. You know the world respects you when they fear you and they fear you when they don’t understand you. I tried to do well, but it was never enough. I am really to be the bad person. I am not a hero Ira; it’s just not in me”

She was part shocked and part hurt on knowing what he went through, and is still going through. She as a tiny droplet of tear forming on the edge of his eye and all she wanted to do was hug him and tell him that everything was going to be ok, but she didn’t.

“Why don’t you let other people see the in you??”

“Because Ira when people see good they expect good. By being bad no one expects anything from me. I can do whatever I want and people will just end up saying he was always like that. Being a jerk has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. As they say, sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. They can say all they want, but the fact of the matter is that I still can do whatever the hell I like. I told you earlier no one is born a jerk. A jerk is always made by people.” He said and by now the tiny droplet of tear started slipping down his check and was about to jump from his face when Ira touched it.

She ran her finger through the path the droplet had taken and ended up near his eye, the very same object that was the reason of many sleepless nights Ira went through. She could almost see what he went through, almost feel the pain. She saw the reflection of moon in his moist eyes and slowly she started to sway towards him. Many thoughts came by her mind with majority of them involving Kiaan but she ignored all of them. It felt like everything getting back in place, even if it was wrong.

Rev was really not in himself at that moment and wasn’t thinking anything. All he saw was Ira bathing in the shining moonlight, her face lightened up with the streak of light that went from her forehead right down to her neck.

Though he had been with many girls, many of them even more beautiful than her, Zev felt something deep inside of him that he didn’t even knew existed. He was overwhelmed with a deep sense of warmth and affection towards this girl whom he didn’t really know but still told her everything there was to know about him, even the things even he never wanted to revisit.

Suddenly he found himself swaying towards her; there was something between them, that none of them understood even though it didn’t matter. He moved his face dangerously close to hers, so close he could even feel her warm breath all over his face but he didn’t really go all the way, he stopped just by covering ninety percent of the distance because he wanted to know if she was going to do the same thing as he didn’t want to spoil it by being too desperate. Every fiber in her body was stopping her from covering the ten percent of the distance but she couldn’t stop, even if she wanted to. Soon enough their lips met and puckered and everything went hazy for both of them. Both were into each other and the moon shone brightest that night maybe to shower its blessing on both of them.

A few days later, for Zev the time between that kiss and every moment after that was the most magical time of his life. The stars seemed to shine more, the moon seemed bigger and everything seemed to agree with him. He stopped being a jerk to everybody and even though old habits die hard he seemed to enjoy every second of his life now.

On the other hand it was completely opposite for Ira. She seemed so guilty about that night that she went into a darker place that no one could actually see what was happening to her. She stopped smiling, stopped working. No matter what she did all she could think was Kiaan and how much wrong she did to him and how bad a person she was. The worst part was he was returning back today and Ira was in no condition to receive him even though she knew she would be the first person he wanted to meet when he steps out of the train.

The train stopped and he stepped out, the same man in the completely changed world. Kiaan had no idea what had happened. He looked way down the platform but couldn’t see Ira anywhere. Angry yet a little worried he picked up his stuff and went straight to her home. Ira’s father would be in the bakery and mother would be busy doing the household chores. He went inside said the courtesy hello to Ira’s mother and went straight to her room. Half hoping that she might have a surprise party planned for him he knocked on the door, with no response he thought of knocking again but dropped the idea and went straight in ahead.

The room looked shabby as if it hadn’t been cleaned for days, the bed was not made but it was certain someone was spending way too much time in it. It was too dark to see so he searched for light switches, which was a little ironical because he had been in this room a million times and still had no idea where the switches were. Finally after almost tumbling over twice he found the switched and turned it on. He was shocked to see hat that resulted in, he was Ira curled up in a ball in the corner of the room with her eyes swollen by crying too much. He dropped everything he had and ran towards her and took her into his arms. This was the moment she came back into her senses and when she realized who was hugging her she starting crying hysterically. Kiaan kept asking what the matter was and she kept saying that she was really sorry for everything.  

Kiaan couldn’t still understand anything that had happened but he didn’t want her to cry so all he kept saying that it was ok and that everything was going to be alright. Ira looked up turning her face towards his face, the face she had kissed a million times, but now it looked different. She thought she didn’t deserve him, not after what she has done. She fell for another guy even after she was about to marry a perfect guy. Sobbing hysterically she narrated the entire story about everything that happened since he left. Not able to understand every word she said, Kiaan figured out the main portion of what she was trying to say.

After Ira finished confessing, she couldn’t gather up the courage to look up and face Kiaan, on the other hand Kiaan was waiting for her to look up. He wanted to see her eyes for the last time, the eyes he fell in love with, the eyes that fell in love with somebody else. He would have forgiven her if it had only been a onetime thing, but he knew her. She did actually fall for the guy. She finally managed to look up and amidst of all the tears still left in her eyes Kiaan could still see the old Ira, but he knew it was long gone. On the other hand all Ira felt was guilt.

Love Song for No One-2

To her and everybody’s surprise, Zev came alone. As usual he became the center of attraction since the moment he entered the party but everyone wanted to see who he would bring with him tonight.

The party was going on really well and everybody seemed to enjoy it, except Ira. She felt claustrophobic in the ball room where the party was held because clearly there were more people than Zev’s father had anticipated. So she thought it was a good idea that she stepped outside. To her amazement she saw Zev getting cozy with one of her co-workers, she felt disgusted so she went in further ahead in the garden. Zev saw her go and felt a little embarrassed, not that he really cared. He excused himself and went towards the place where she had just gone. He saw her sitting on a bench just watching the moon. He was quite amazed to see her in full moon light as he had never thought she would look so beautiful. She just sat there wearing her white dress and Zev thought of it as practically as a perfect site. He went to her.

“It is quite chilly tonight, don’t you think??”

She saw him as he was sitting beside him on the bench.

“Yeah but you got all the warmth you need, right??”

“Jealous??” he started to smile.

“Why would I be jealous??” she said tsk-ing.

“Because deep down inside you can’t stop thinking about me”. He said, almost like as if he was stating a fact.

She just looked towards him as he said that line, though it was true, Ira didn’t want anybody to know about it. She felt the same warm feeling she felt the first time she saw him, and every other time she saw him or even thought about him.

“Just kidding, don’t get so serious now.” He said turning his smile into a grin.

“You think it’s so easy, right?? Just smile and be charming and you can get all the girls you want.”

“Yeah but being rich helps too” he said proudly.

By the time Ira could say something else, both of them were called inside for the cake cutting, the cake which was made by Ira herself.

It has been a few days since the party and Ira didn’t stop thinking about Zev, not only for obvious reasons, but she thought there is more to him that meets the eye. She wanted to know more, but every time she saw him, he was with a lady friend of his. Ira just couldn’t let it go, she was stubborn by nature but this was an absolute limit to her nature. She just had to know what his deep blue eyes were hiding.

In the town there was a place called the sunset point. It was both Ira’s and Kiaan’s favorite place to go and just look at the beauty of the magnificent nature around them. It was a place where words are not required to show how you feel. It was a magical place. Since it had been 2 weeks since Kiaan had gone, Ira didn’t have the chance to visit it. While finishing her work she decided to visit the sunset point mainly for the sake of old times, the times before Zev, the good times.

She kept thinking of Kiaan while she walked down the lanes of the small towns of how both of them used to go there, this wasn’t particularly necessary but she just was just trying to keep Zev out of her mind.

She reached the point just as the time when the sun was setting down on the horizon. Everything was glowing with a beautiful orange color which always calmed Ira. Birds were returning to their nests after the day of trying to find the feeds. There was a lot of noise made by the little animals living there but still a certain sense of calmness prevailed.

As she walked down further, she saw a shadow sitting by the valley and it reminded of Kiaan just sitting there and waiting for her. But she knew it wasn’t Kiaan, it couldn’t have been so she ignored the shadow and moved the other way. She just wanted to be alone. She wanted to be alone just so she could reminisce about whatever happened since the time Kiaan had been gone. Her life was perfect, at least that is what it seems now thinking about that time. She was still lost way deeply lost in her thoughts when a voice brought her back to her senses.

“Why are you following me everywhere??” said Zev in his usual tone of sarcasm mixed with dark humor.

“What? Me following you?? Not even in your dreams” she said, sharply.

“Then why are you here?? I hope not to check on me??”

“I can ask you the same question.”

“Well, I used to come here when I was a child. Nostalgia brought me here.”

“I am sure you used to bring a lot of girls here.”

“Some, not a lot” he said winking. “And some of them just came here following me”

“You really hate me, right??”

“Yes, I really hate you”

“And I love that. You know normally I am accustomed of everyone loving me. Everyone except you know, my father. It has been a long time since someone has hated me without even knowing me. “

“Without knowing you??What  is there to know?? You are a jerk. Period.”

“No one is born a jerk sweetheart. The world makes him a jerk. There is a story behind every jerk.”

“I bet you tell this story to every girl??”

“As a matter of fact, none of them. But I guess you are not interested in listening, so I guess I got to be going now” he said getting up to go.

“No, stay, please” as she touched his arm as if she doesn’t really want him gone, “Enlighten me with your story” trying to sound as sarcastic as she could.

“You really want to know?? Because you might fall for me if I do actually tell you my story” he said grinning. Deep down inside Zev never wanted to tell this story to anyone because it just made him vulnerable. He liked control, not vulnerability.

“I will try my best, believe me”

Love Song for No One-1

Lying in her bed, staring at the clock as if watching the seconds become minutes and minutes turn into hours then into days. It might have been weeks, she had lost the track of time a while back. For her there was no particular reason to get up from the bed in the morning. She had lost two of the most important men in her life, one who loved her dearly and another whom she loved madly and that too within a few days. She wasn’t always like this, being in bed all day; keep staring at the walls hoping someday most probably this pain will go away. But now she had her doubts if it is ever going to be ok. If she was ever going back to the way she used to be before it all happened. Having all this in her mind started giving her headache and without any specific reason she started to cry remembering all those moment when she felt alive.

About a month back

“For the last time Ira… I am coming back within two three weeks. You are behaving as if I am going for ever” Kiaan said.

“I know I know, but you won’t understand. What if you found someone else there? What if she is prettier than me?” she said making a pout.

“Very funny” he said grinning. “Even if I found someone prettier than you, I would tell her that there is a girl who has my heart, so stay away from me. I am a one women man and I am spoken for”

“I know you boys. Just tell lies to keep the girl happy, simple as that. I know you would jump on the first opportunity to get in bed with another girl.”

“Oh! Is that so??? But Ira what if you find a cuter guy than me? I know hypothetically because practically I don’t think that is possible but still, what would you do??” he said winking.

“I won’t. I am not going to another city to attend some stupid workshop, you are.”

“All right madam, enough of this fight. My train is leaving to I should be going now” he said and he leaned over to kiss her forehead.

“All right but keep yourself away from pretty women” she said trying to sound like she meant it but she too knew he would never cheat on her.

“I will try my best” he said winking. “Love you”

“Let’s see what you say when you come back” she said putting her tongue out as if to tease her.

He saw it and did the same as if they were saying goodbyes in their own way.

Kiaan was Ira’s boyfriend for as long as she remembered. Their parents were family friends so they spend their whole childhood together. When did friendship ended and love began, no one seemed to remember. Remembering would be waste of time none the less. The important thing was they loved each other. Kiaan’s father was the manager of the bakery in which Ira’s father was the head chef. They were practically family. Ira and Kiaan were engaged to be married and everybody was happy about it, but Kiaan had to go to the city for a training program which didn’t go down with Ira very well. But what had to be done had to be done. Kiaan was gone for the summer and Ira was left alone.

She wasn’t really the one who would sulk about being alone and cry with the memory of her and Kiaan together. She was a big girl and she got all together and got to work. Usually Kiaan handled the bakery since his father wasn’t doing well and Ira used to serve, not that she was the waitress, but just because she wanted to be with Kiaan.

But all of this was going to change soon and no one really could have predicted that. Zev, son of the owner of the bakery was coming back the next day. Zev wasn’t the best guy you will ever meet in your life. He was self-centered, egoistic and a player. He had a way to charm the ladies to get them into his bed before anyone could even realize. He had a good built, blue eyes and a deep voice but along with that he had a special thing, he was a charmer. He could even say something to offend you and just smile and you wouldn’t be worried about it. He was the bad guy of the area.

A few days later,

Zev along with his friends entered the bakery to get something to eat at the time when it was about to close, but naturally he owned it so he had to be catered. As they entered the gate, Ira was working on some other table. He got down and asked for a waiter and since Ira was the closest one, she went to him. They didn’t know each other as Zev had left much before Ira and her family came live in the area, so she had no idea who he was.

“Hi, How may I help you??” she said with a smile.

“Well, there are many ways but as this is a public place, I would not recommend it”

“Excuse me?” she said quite surprised, but she wasn’t the one to hold back.

“Do you always wear a dress like that or just in here to get more tips??” he said pointing towards Ira’s short skirt.

“I don’t get tips.” She said, firmly.

“With a body like that, you don’t need any” he said, winking. All of his friends started laughing.

She looked at one of his friends who was laughing and said, “I know you all are laughing so that Mr. Richie Rich here will pay the bill”. And the laughing stopped.

“How do you know I am rich??” he was confused.

“Let me see your hands, by the way you know that’s man’s hand have directly proportional relationship with their reproductive organ??” she said as he showed his hands. She smiled because she knew she had him.

“Yeah, so??” he asked feeling dumb.

“Well, with hands that small, you better be rich.” She said, grinning proudly as if she had just tamed a wild stallion.

“I like you. Give me your number.” He said, just like that.

“I am a good girl. I don’t give my number to strangers.”

“You are not a good girl, that’s way I want your number” he said, smiling.

Ira looked at his face, not carefully now. His perfect cheek bones, the perfect hair, the perfect teeth, the perfect smile and above all his eyes and she felt something. Something she had never felt before. It was something warm, just near the abdominal region. It wasn’t painful, though there was a little discomfort, but there was a certain soothing effect to it. She closed her eyes for a second as if to enjoy the moment but suddenly reality flashed by as she heard his friends laughing again.

She walked off and asked another waiter to attend to them. She stormed into the kitchen where his father was working. He went near him and stopped as if she wanted to see Zev again. She turned around and saw him laughing with his friends. She thought about his eyes again and she started to feel the same warm feeling again. This time her father interrupted.

“What was Master Zev saying to you??”

“Zev?? You know him father??”

“Of course, he is the son if the owner. But I don’t think you have ever seen him, so what were you guys talking about??

“Ummm nothing really.” As she looked back one more time, all she could remember was his eyes; there was something in them, something that pulled her towards him. She didn’t understand it, but she was sure it was not a good thing.

It has been some days since that incident happened, but she could never stop obsessing about him. She didn’t remember how many times she rolled onto her bed thinking about that brief moment of pleasurable pain Zev’s eyes made her experience, and at some weeks moment she fantasized about what his touch would do to her. She knew it was wrong, but she thought of it as general no harm fantasizing.

Zev had been to the bakery many times, always with a new lady friend and always getting a little more hands-y than required, sometimes Ira felt bad, sometimes even felt jealous but she didn’t give it much thought. She had Kiaan, but she could swear Zev enjoyed taking his lady friends to the bakery so that Ira could see that she made a mistake by not giving him her number.

Zev’s father had planned a homecoming party to celebrate the return of his son and had invited everyone involved with the bakery. Naturally Ira had to go, half because she wanted to see Zev again, and half because she wanted to see who he would bring with him today.